After reviewing my Bucket List page, I noticed there were quite a few fitness goals listed. I decided to move those goals to their own page because most of the items on my Bucket List are one shot deals or things I would like to start doing again; whereas the items on my Fitness Goals page will take some work.
There will probably still be some cross pollination, but that’s how I decided to divide things up for now.
When the alarm went off this morning, I thought “No, no, no…not yet!”. It felt as though I had just closed my eyes. I needed to get moving, but…
The alarm now reset for 15 minutes later, I rolled over to find Hank, curled against my legs, sleeping soundly. Rather than go back to sleep, I decided to bond with my dog. I started stroking his head – he has the softest fur – and then moved on to a belly rub. I found that to be a much more pleasant start to my day than another paltry 15 minutes of sleep.
Unfortunately, for the next two hours it was all downhill. As I was getting ready I started thinking about breakfast – doughnuts to be specific. Hank was going to daycare this morning, so I could choose to go by the Circle K or not. If I went to the Circle K, then I would knock myself out of ketosis. Was it worth it? I spent about 40 minutes going back and forth, arguing both sides.
It had to be about more than the doughnuts. I realized that when I started this diet, I walked away from some of my “friends”. In this instance, when I say “friends”, I mean certain foods. I use food to fill voids and wanted to be with specific “friends” when I was having different feelings or needs. After much thought, I determined that what I really needed this morning was a hug. It also would have been nice to have someone (besides myself) remind me that I have been doing this and that I can continue to do so.
Knowing that what I needed and wanted was a hug, I hugged Hank – much to his chagrin – and took him to daycare. After I dropped him off I turned right to avoid the Circle K. Success!
Just as I was celebrating my victory over the doughnuts, I passed an Einstein’s and started thinking about bagels. I didn’t have time to stop on the way to my appointment, but there was another location on the way to work, so I could grab one then. After my appointment I headed toward work and Einstein’s. I got into the left turn lane at the intersection to go to Einstein’s and sat at the red. While I was waiting to turn, the traffic going straight got the green. After a minute, I hopped into that lane and away from Einstein’s. It felt really good to pull into the lane moving forward and change my path.
Only one hurdle left – the cafeteria at work. Thankfully they stock hard boiled eggs in the cooler as you enter the cafeteria. I never broke stride as I walked past the cooler and snatched up two eggs on my way to the cashier. I did spy some biscuits out of the corner of my eye, but I kept walking.
Lunch generally doesn’t present a problem because I have work to do and people to talk to, but I need to remain extra vigilant during the evening hours tonight. I no longer keep trigger foods in the house, but I will take Hank to the dog park to get out of the house all the same. It will also help to engage in general chit chat with the other pet parents. Then, I think I should call it an early night.
Do any of you have these problems?
The Bucket List was on TV the other day and it gave me an idea. I created a list of things I would like to do, but don’t because I feel limited by my size. A Bucket List page has been added to track the progression and/or completion of these goals. The list will continue to grow as I gain confidence and lose weight. Wish me luck!
Oh, and if anyone has ideas for things I might do (within reason), I’d be happy to hear from you.
In case you are unfamiliar with the movie The Bucket List, here is a brief synopsis written by Jason Buchanan.
Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman star as two terminally ill cancer patients who decide to break out of the hospital and live their last days to the fullest in director Rob Reiner‘s seriocomic road movie. Edward Cole (Nicholson) is a corporate billionaire who is currently sharing a hospital room with blue-collar mechanic Carter Chambers (Freeman). Though initially the pair seems to have nothing in common, conversation gradually reveals that both men have a long list of goals they wish to accomplish before they kick the bucket, and an unrealized desire to discover what kind of men they really are. But one can’t accomplish such lofty objectives from the confines of a hospital bed, so now, in order to live their lives to the absolute fullest, Edward and Carter will have to make a break for it. With a checklist that includes playing the poker tables in Monte Carlo, consuming copious amounts of caviar, racing the fastest machines on four wheels, and much more, these two terminally ill men will do their best to fit a lifetime of experience into their last remaining days while forging an unlikely, but truly remarkable, friendship. – Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
For years I have wanted a flat screen TV, but put off purchasing one for several reasons:
There is no reason for me not to purchase a TV, so I have decided to turn it into my ultimate reward. At the end of the first 120 days I am giving myself permission to purchase this bad boy…or one very similar.
I know that the improvement to my overall health and appearance should be reward enough, but they’re not. I want, and shall have, my TV too!
When I started my diet, I thought I would have to stop going out to eat in order to stick to plan. Had that been true, it would have dealt a crushing blow to my social life. I’m busy, my friends are busy, but everyone has to eat. So, even though everyone has a million things to do, it’s pretty easy for people to carve out an hour or two for a meal. I am ever so grateful for that because I prefer in person interaction rather than having to get updates about the lives of my friends via Facebook or text. I have given up on the Facebook bit…
Turns out, eating out is almost easier than eating at home. Granted, I have more control over food preparation at home, but when I’m out, I have no problem requesting special food preparation. I have to admit that sometimes I feel like Meg Ryan in ‘When Harry met Sally’, but it’s what I need to do for me. And yes, I have had to send food back because the vegetables came doused in oil or with a pat of butter on top or there was sauce on the protein.
Sending food back is a huge step for me. Previously, I wouldn’t have said anything, or said that it was fine, and eaten it how it was served. I am beginning to realize that there is nothing wrong with sending something back if it is not what was requested. So far the servers have been happy to get me a fresh plate of food – as originally requested.
I would do well to remember to stand up for myself in other areas of my life as well, but that’s another post…
Ah, the cucumber… Prior to beginning the PSMF diet, cucumbers did not rank high on my list of must have veggies. I am a big fan of cucumber scented items like candles and soaps, but not the cucumber itself. Cucumbers were what I ate around in salads or in dill pickle form.
I know that dill pickles are made from cucumbers, but I think of them completely differently. I love, love, love my Heinz dill pickles. So much so, that I won’t eat any other brand. Every so often I’ll try another brand, but they’re never as good as my Heinz. But, I digress…
I was REALLY hungry one day and was looking for volume. I pulled out my eligible vegetables list and discovered that the cucumber was my answer. I am allowed one and a half cucumbers as a serving of vegetables. According to multiple online sources, the average large cucumber has approximately 33 calories when peeled and 45 with the skin on. How’s that for guilt free snacking?
I now had the quantity I was looking for, but didn’t find cucumbers all that flavorful. The quantity was hard to beat though, so I went out to procure some cucumbers. After acquiring three, I decided to eat them like I eat apples – sliced with salt. I adore salt. Fortunately, I have been blessed with low blood pressure, so I can (and do) salt freely. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the cucumbers were pretty tasty.
I now regularly enjoy watching TV while eating my cucumbers. It’s almost like having chips…almost. Who knew?!?!?
I have been having many food thoughts this morning. I am currently hungry and lunch in still a good 45 minutes out since I have an off-site lunch meeting. So, what have I been thinking about this morning? How my hard boiled eggs didn’t taste like a cinnamon roll and how they were gone more quickly. I’ve also been thinking of Mountain Dew – my favorite beverage.
I have a bit of a headache and, for some reason, I tend to attribute most of my headaches to caffeine deficiency. Iced tea at lunch will remedy that.
Anyway, those thoughts of sweets made me realize that I need something to help me when I am dealing with cravings and there’s no one around to help stop me. So, I devised the following to help me stop and take a minute before popping anything in my mouth:
Do you really want to eat/drink that? Will it nourish you? Is it on the plan? Will it help you reach your goals? If you answered “NO” to two or more of those questions, then you should NOT eat it.
If you still feel compelled to eat it, do the following:
- Wait 30 minutes then ask yourself if you still want it, if the answer is “yes”, then…
- Go for a walk then ask yourself if you still want it, if the answer is “yes”, then…
- Blog or write about how you are feeling and why that particular food is calling you then ask yourself if you still want it, if the answer is “yes”, then…
- Phone a friend then ask yourself if you still want it, if the answer is “yes”, then…
- Go to bed (assumes I am at home)
I have made three copies of the above – one for my desk, one for my wallet and one for my fridge. Hopefully this will give me the pause I need and perhaps be helpful to others as well.
I love that there are 70 miles of beaches, the average temperature is 70, it’s a big city with a small town feel, it’s close to Tijuana and Rosarito, Mexico and the people are so very chill. To me, San Diego is paradise.
That’s why I’m so excited to be escaping the Arizona heat in June to head to SD for the weekend. The opportunity came up suddenly – yesterday, in fact – and with only a minimal of thought, I booked my flight. That’s huge for me because I suffer from analysis paralysis and often end up doing nothing more than talking about what I am going to do.
I have no idea who all is going or where we’re staying. All I know is that I have a plane ticket and Hank has a reservation at the Canine Country Club.
I’m so excited to be going with the flow on this!
This weekend was much busier than I had planned. I had had a long week and was looking forward to relaxing and catching up on some chores and schoolwork. I knew I had a party to attend Saturday night, but that was it – until Friday morning when my plans changed, for the better…I ended up going to an AFL game, Iron Man 2, the surprise party and accomplishing many of my errands.
I was concerned about the game for a couple of reasons. First, the seats at the games generally do not accommodate my larger than average derriere, so I was concerned that I would be squished between my friends and/or some strangers. It’s like having to sit next to the fatty on a plane. I know, I’m one of the ones you have to sit next too…
Imagine my surprise when we got to the game and we were sitting in the Lexus Club level in our very own OFFICE CHAIRS!!! There were six chairs in our row and they could have squeezed in another six if they wanted too. What a relief!!!
Another concern was the food. Why is it that, whenever I am at a sporting event, I feel the need to consume beer and a hot dog? Anyone else feel that way? Anyway, I had two things working in my favor. First, I ate at home so that I wouldn’t be hungry. Second, my secret weapon, T was with me and she is one of my biggest supporters. There’s no way she would have let me within 10 feet of a hot dog.
Side note – If you’ve never been to an AFL game, I highly recommend it. The game is fast paced and high scoring and they played great music. My friends and I indulged in quite a bit of chair dancing. 
Yesterday afternoon I went to see Iron Man 2 with my friend and her boyfriend. I picked up the tickets, but her boyfriend tried to give me money. I told them it was my treat. He really wanted to pay me back so he offered refreshments or snacks, but then said, “oh wait, T told me you’re on some extreme diet”. I was caught slightly off guard because (oh no) he knew I was on a diet and because T had referred to it as extreme (or that’s how he intepreted what she said). The only explanation I could come up with for my surprise was that I immediately thought I was being judged and my natural instict is to get defensive and brush it off. He wasn’t attacking me or my choices though. In fact, he was just trying to be supportive by no longer offering me items he realized I wasn’t eating at present. And, yeah, the diet is extreme.
I recovered quickly from my knee-jerk reaction and put it out of my head until much later when I analyzed the exchange at home alone. I know I am making strides because I didn’t get into a funk at the movie or spend much time thinking about it once I realized there was no need to read into it further. Ahh, progress… 
Last night there was a surprise party for my friend who turned 40. It was a lovely evening, so we sat out on the patio and enjoyed the party. I had planned to drink club soda with a lime to “disguise” the fact that I wasn’t drinking. Once I got there, I decided I was being ridiculous and reached into the tub of bottled water. Nobody said a word about my not drinking. I guess it’s true what they say…”people are too busy worrying about themselves to worry about what I’m doing”.
Hank and I rose early today and put in a good hour of road work before the heat hit. By the time we got back, we were both thirsty and hungry – and I was tired again. We ate, I loaded the washing machine, then retreated to bed. With the exception of changing laundry loads, Hank and I spent the day in bed alternately dozing and watching TV. It felt so decadent and wonderful to do nothing. A fabulous cap to a wonderful weekend!
Today I begin anew. I don’t have to start the entire 120 days over at this point, but it is rather like starting at square one again.
I read my pledge this morning and felt fortified. Now I just need to get through these first three days. I need to remember my tools – and USE them.
